i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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