weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
