but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
