We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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