we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
