Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
