worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize