she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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