You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
