I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
