last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Found the puke drawer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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