Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
