also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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