If that was your dad, he is hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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