The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
