great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
