just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
