HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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