D3 body, D1 cock
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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