On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
