I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
