i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize