I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize