I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize