I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
