Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
