is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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