i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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