my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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