I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize