i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
