She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
