belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
