i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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