Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
