Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
