she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
