how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
