Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
