it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
