return my video game
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
