I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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