YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
