Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
