now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
