it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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