she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize