we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
