Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
