So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
