I murdered the dance floor call the cops
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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