I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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