I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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