id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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