i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize