I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
