When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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