last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
