I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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